Monday, January 29, 2007

A very interesting post from Jason...

I have't quite learned how to add a link in the title. But I read a post from Jason that was really interesting.

Here's what I say in regards of that post.

That's so sad. Yet so true for those I grew up with.

I know that not all of my children can be as stubborn as me or have the attitude I had growing up. I was never a bully, but I also never let anyone bully me or my friends.

I can't even pinpoint someone who was an actual bully since I moved around so much. But I do remember people trying to pick on me, or my siblings because we were "newbies." I remember being in only two fights in my life growing up. Both were when someone tried to bully me or my little brother or sister. It seemed they changed their attitudes when some tiny little girl kicked their asses. LOL

However, now, while we try to teach our children that violence doesn't solve anything, we're also trying to teach them to not put up woth other kids bullying them. If one of them comes home saying someone was pushing them around, I'm on the phone immediately to get the whole story.

For example, recently, I had my sister watching Korinne while I took Jackson to what I knew would be a long appointment. When I came home, Justin's ear was huge...with a blood blister. Jay, instead of going to the Homework Club stayed home with Justin. Apparently, another little boy had been bullying Justin and pushed him into the side of the bus.

Since the bus driver had given me her cell phone number, I called her right away to find out what she thought happened. She told me exactly what my sons had told me. She added that she was writing the other little boy up and he would be suspended from the bus for it. At least something was being done.

About two weeks later, I'm standing at the bus stop waiting when the bus driver calls my cell phone and says she needs to talk to me when the bus gets there. She tells me that Jay pushed the same boy that pushed Justin up against the bus and he hit his head. She kept Jay on the bus last to ask him what happened, while I asked Justin, who was off the bus what happened. Justin told me the little boy kept pushing Jay around so Jay pushed back. Which is exactly what Jay told the bus driver.

She told me that if the other child's mother called, she'd have to write Jay up and all. I told her I understood and to call me and let me know. Well apparently, the other parent made no complaint because Jay wasn't written up.

So either the child didn't tell his parents, they didn't care, or they know what a bully he is. Who knows.

As far as us (Hubby and I) we are constantly outside stopping bullying. When did it become our place to stop other kids from bullying other kids? I know we shouldn't get involved, but as a decent human being, whose apartment overlooks the playground, I cannot sit and watch someone bullying another child. If I make enemies of the kids around here, so be it. But from past experiences, they seem to respect us more because they know we're watching them. (We're watching them because our children are out there playing!)


Ami said...

I think you *should* get involved. Sounds like you are. Good for you!Because you're watching over your children, other people's children are benefiting. If everyone cared and did something about the bullying, I think there would be far less of it. It's absolutely appalling to me that if one is under the age of, oh, about 12, assault and battery is just, "kids will be kids." NO! That's only if they're ALLOWED to behave like that.

And unfortunately, violence *does* solve things. Telling kids that it doesn't is a lie... and they see that over and over. War, anyone? Sometimes returning the blow is the only thing certain people understand. This means if someone hits you or hurts you, you should be allowed to fight back. If you don't, then you become a victim. If little Billy got punched in the nose every time he hurt someone, little Billy might get the message.

Sunnie (Kaytee) said...

What I meant about violence not solving things was I don't want them pushing other kids around. I don't want them going outside and just hitting another kid for no reason.
I do expect them to fight back if someone is hitting them.
It's so contradictory, I know.

Margo said...

I know what you mean, Kaytee. I want my kids to be the peaceful type, but I certainly don't want them not to know how to defend themselves.

Ami said...

*I* knew what you meant, too. I should have specified 'generic you.' I think you're right on all fronts and I'm glad there are people like you watching out for other people's kids. But isn't it sad that their own parents aren't?

Remember, I work in a school. I see lots of bullying. I try to remind the kids that there's always someone available to help them discuss issues that are making them angry at each other. Most of the time, they're very good about it.