Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Dejected

That's me. Jackson and I made our way downtown early this morning. They tried doing the scans without sedation, but like most other small children, Jackson absolutely hates being held down. So we went back into the waiting room while the anesthesiologists were paged. Jackson was very cranky because he was starving. So we sat in the waiting room for about 45 minutes with Jackson crying off and on. A patient liaison, I think that's what he was, came out with some nifty toys to help keep Jackson entertained. That was a blessing. They left the IV in his hand in case one of the other doctors he was seeing today needed to draw blood.

After the scan, we had about 45 minutes until his appointment with the ENT. So we wandered to the cafeteria, where I hoped there would still be some breakfast. Nope, they were clearing out for the lunch food. So we strolled around towards Rutledge Towers for the ENT. We were taken back almost immediately and only had to wait about 10 minutes for the ENT to show up. I'm told Jackson has fluid behind his ear drum so he's scheduled next month to have tubes put in. Seems to be an easy enough procedure.

So we leave there and go back to the cafeteria. I bought a sub for me and a box of Fruit Loops for Jackson. We sat outside in the beautiful weather and ate. His next appointment wasn't until 2, so we had a few hours. After we ate, I donated blood. (Maybe now they'll stop sending me reminders to donate. LOL) They were a little concerned for me because I wouldn't take a soda (I don't drink sodas) or eat some crackers (I'd just finished eating a sub, so was full. I was fine though.

I got bored walking around, Jackson was tired so I knew he'd be asleep soon. So we made our way to the neurosurgeon's office. We signed in at 12:30. Yeah I know waaaaaay early. Surprisingly, we were called back within a half hour or so. The neurosurgeon came and and said he was pleased with the shape of Jackson's head. However, he's concerned that his skull hasn't grown back as quick as it should have. So, he said Jackson may need surgery again next year. He mentioned grafting some of his skull from elsewhere or using other materials. My heart dropped.

It's bad enough he'll be having tubes put in. Now he might need surgery to close his skull?! Hasn't he been through enough? Can't it be over now? No more surgeries! No more scans! No more damn doctor's appointments that last less than 5 minutes yet charge too much damn money! I'm tired of them. Ok I know he needs them but I'm just sad.

2 comments:

lilmama (Peggy) said...

You are the strongest person I know, you will get through this and Jackson is a fighter. I am really sad that Jackson might need surgery again. My heart is breaking for both of you. There is someone watching all of you and He won't let anything happen to Jackson. He's come a long way in his short life. I love you all so very much and I'll be praying every day for you.

Ami said...

I'm sorry the appointments weren't more hopeful of no more surgical intervention. (I know there's something wrong with my grammar there, but I have a headache, and even when I don't, I sometimes have trouble saying things the right way.)

He's so lucky to have you for his mom, because you will advocate for him and do your own research as well. I second it... he will do well and you will all get through these things.